Just an Echo

A few years ago, I came across an online questionnaire that asked me to give a score to different areas of my life. At first, it seemed simple. Just rate each area and move on. But when I actually started answering, something became clear. All areas were low, except work.

I don’t remember exactly what I felt in that moment. It was a few years ago. But I do remember a sense of disappointment and a realization that I could have done more, that I could have been in a different place in life.

Looking back, I think there was something else going on. It felt like I had no desire for anything else. No energy, no inspiration, no spark. I was able to go to work and function, but beyond that, it was difficult to do anything else.

The interesting part is that I didn’t notice this day to day. It wasn’t something I was thinking about regularly. It only became clear when I saw everything laid out in that questionnaire. That’s what made the imbalance visible.

After that, I decided to take action. I took the areas from the questionnaire and created lists, to do lists or wish lists, things I wanted to accomplish in each area based on the vision I had for my life. Having those lists gave me some relief. It felt like I had a plan.

I am still working through it. Still trying to understand what kind of life I want, and how to move toward it. But at least now, I am more aware of it, and for now, that feels like a place to start.

Two years ago, I also came across a video by Tal Ben-Shahar about happiness and the studies behind it [link]. It validated a lot of what I was already thinking. The idea that happiness is a moment and does not last forever, and that in order to feel happiness you need to focus on different aspects of life.

Since then, I have defined a few categories in my life that I review every year. These categories reflect how I currently see different areas of life, and how I want to approach them.

I am still working through it. Still trying to understand what kind of life I want, and how to move toward it. But at least now, I am more aware of it, and for now, that feels like a place to start.